


i've missed you

by faeriedisaster



Series: the time it takes to stay in love [1]
Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, F/M, Post-Canon, bye lmao, he dead, i almost wanted to ignore matthias' death but then i was like nah, jesper fahey mention, nina zenik mention, wylan van eck mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 03:11:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10778313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faeriedisaster/pseuds/faeriedisaster
Summary: inej has been off freeing slaves for two years, but she's back to get what she wants. kaz has, if anything, only fallen deeper in love in her absence.alternatively titled: kaz thinks a lot and inej is amused





	i've missed you

“inej, “ Kaz breathed pushing up from his chair.

She tilted her head.

“Kaz.”

He cleared his throat and recomposed his features into a smooth mask of calm.  
“What business, Wraith?”

“It’s been a long time, Kaz. I no longer answer to that name.”

It had been a long time. Two years, in fact, since he last seen her, but here she was now. Her hair was pulled into a braid, dotted with mist. She had another blade on her, no doubt named after another one of her saints. Her shoes were leather boots, their soles not unlike the one on the shoes she’d worn when she still ran with his crew. Kaz noted these things as he noted everything, like a thief, stealing details to keep against his chest.

“You look,” lovely. Brilliant. Stunning. “Well.”

A smile danced at the edges of her lips.  
“The same could be said for you.”

What did he say now? The first thing that came to mind, apparently.  
“The crows have begun looking particularly starved without your affections.”

She laughed then, the sound spilling out of her and right into Kaz’s unguarded heart. There had been nothing he loved enough to have to guard against with Inej gone. He loved Jesper and Wylan, but neither of them had the ability to worm their way into his soul like Inej could. 

“And how have you been? Starving like the crows?”

“I would hope not. It's rather hard to keep a business running if you feel like you're going to keel over at any moment.”

Inej smiled and Kaz was seventeen again. He was seventeen and watching her feed the crows, golden bars of sunlight crossing her face. She sobered for a moment and cocked her head to the side, observing him.

“I've missed you, Kaz.”

Kaz’s breath caught in his throat. It was one thing to hope it was true, but another thing entirely to hear it out loud. 

“And I you.”

Inej raised a single elegant eyebrow.

Ah, he'd gone soft with her gone. Interacting with people for things other than business was something he'd nearly forgotten, and he now personal conversations were filled with mindless thoughts. Kaz blamed Jesper and Wylan for this. Together, they had the strange power to bring out the truth in him. Disconcerting as it was, he was slightly grateful for it. He wanted Inej and he wanted give himself as she wanted him. Without his precious armor. Without all the walls he'd built around himself. 

He realized this with a breathless ache in his chest. Two years, three months, and six days after she'd left on that ship and he still loved her. Did she still love him? Two years was a terribly long time to pine after someone you never saw. Kaz had, though. Who's to say that she hadn't?

“How are your parents?”

Inej practically glowed. 

“They are well. They send their regards.”

Kaz tugged the sleeves of his jacket down sharply. 

“Join me for a walk?”

“I never took you for the type to take girls for romantic walks in the middle of the night.”

He fixed a sheet of paper on his desk. 

“I never said it was romantic. There is a man that I hear has been leaving marks on the girls he visits when his wife isn't looking.”

“If you fight all men like that, you'd be fighting a hundred men a night.”

“This one happens to owe me two thousand kruge as well.”

Kaz adjusted his tie and took his cane from where it leaned against the desk. 

“Shall we?”

He gestured with his cane and Inej grinned, somersaulting out the door with a whoop. Kaz grumbled and began his descent down the stairs. 

The pair made their way through the streets of Ketterdam the way they always had. Inej silent on the rooftops and Kaz keenly aware of her presence. 

Kaz’s mind ran wild as they walked. How long would Inej remain? Would she be staying in her room in the Slat? Did she have a partner already? The last question gnawed at his mind. He would not be surprised if she had found someone else to love, after all, two years was plenty of time to find someone that held the same morals and goals as she. 

He was suddenly immensely aware that she seemed to be bursting with things to say.

“What is it, Inej?”

“You're thinking too hard about this.”

“You don't seem to be short on thoughts yourself.” 

Inej let out a sound that was a cross between a sigh and a laugh. Kaz was silent for a few minutes before finally speaking. 

“Have you- have you ever taken on a lover?”

Inej to a few beats to reply and Kaz swore his heart stopped for those short moments. 

“I did. It was short. Too short to really have counted at all. She was lovely, but i wasn't ready to love someone else yet.”

_Someone else other than you_ , was left unspoken, but Kaz heard it anyways. 

“And now?”

“And now I've returned to chase what I want.”

He wanted to ask her what exactly it was she wanted, but instead he said, “you've never been the type to wait for things to come to you.”

They were silent the rest of the way across the city. The offending man went by the name of Wil Ruesga and proved to be the weak, sniveling, pathetic, degenerate type of person that Kaz hated the most. It came as no surprise considering he only ever targeted those that could not fight back. 

The trip back to the Slat was damp with the promise of rain, and Kaz cursed disdainfully at the cold seeping into his bones and his bad leg. 

“You know, Inej,” he said. “I've heard quite a few rumors about you.”

“Oh?”

“More than a few sailors have whispered about the phantom pirate freeing slaves and then simply disappearing without a sound.”

“That could be anyone.”

“Anyone that is also rumored to have run with Kaz Brekker and broken into the Ice Castle?”

“Perhaps Nina has learned how to walk silently.”

“Yes, and Jesper and Wylan aren't still completely infatuated with each other.”

Inej was silent and Kaz wondered at which side of him she came back for. Was it the Kaz Rietveld she wanted? The boy beneath, with a willingness to give himself away to Inej, or was it Kaz Brekker she wanted? The man that was barely a man, both in the sense that he was only nineteen and in the sense that he was more monster than human. Kaz doubted he’d ever believe himself to be more than a horrible person. 

He was not the type of man that made Tante Heleen sell girls’ bodies, and he was not the type to put free people in shackles simply for existing, but that didn’t necessarily justify his sins either. The harbors of Ketterdam may have birthed Kaz Brekker, but it had not killed Kaz Rietveld or Kaz Rietveld’s conscience. Though he refused any claim of him believing in a god or repercussions, he did fear what waited on the other side of death. He’d stolen too many lives and too much money to be truly free of the weight of it all. 

Would Inej accept him even with these burdens? Inej carried a similar weight on her shoulders, but she repented for them. She prayed forgiveness for each life she took; the breaths she stole had moral reasoning behind them. 

The Slat came into view and Kaz stilled. 

“Will you be staying in your room while you’re here?”

Saints, he sounded like a hotel concierge. 

“You kept my room open?”

Inej knew this already. She’d peered into the window on the way down to Kaz’s. 

“I did.”

“I should put it to use, then.”

Kaz walked into the Slat stifling a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> i swear im working on this series. comments bring me joy. kudos also bring me joy but comments bring me Mega Ultra Joy. please give me validation. 
> 
> my main tumblr [xinhuas](http://xinhuas.tumblr.com/)  
> my writing Tumblr [jvrdaparem](http://jvrdaparem.tumblr.com/)  
> twitter [faeriedisaster](https://twitter.com/faeriedisaster)  
> instagram [faeriedisaster](https://www.instagram.com/faeriedisaster/)


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